Axe that. Plans always change.

I woke up Thursday with a strange feeling.

I knew the Doctor appointment I had scheduled for 3:15 would be missed,

while every part of my body started to feel heavy more and more through the aftternoon.

In the blink of an eye, the episode began;

this wasn't one I could super woman my way through,
within 10 minutes, we were on our way to the ER.

Because I've been there hundreds of times,

the second they saw me, I was in a wheelchair, taken back to the room area..

unfortunately, I was there at the  busiest time of day,

the room they wanted to put me in was taken by an emergency ambulance. |:

they would have left me in a wheelchair, outside of the rooms,

if one of the amazing nurses hadn't voiced up and said "NO, she NEEDS a room"

and put me in a special room, IV port placed in my arm immediately.

I don't remember much, 

except fighting the pain with every part of my body.

And how I could not get comfortable in the ER, 

so I was told I was being admitted.

For 5 days I was there (though I'd swear it was 3..)

and they were the most terrible of this year.

The vomiting continued for the first three days, until finally

they found the right mix of medications.

It was hard, repeating myself and not being heard or helped-

ALL I wanted was to feel normal..for the nausea to go away,

for the pain to stop.

Eventually it did, 

and I took advantage cuddling up and sleeping as much as I could

Four pillows later, I started to feel good again. :p

During this stay I had different roommates,

the first- by far the craziest of all.

She didn't like sharing a room, or anything, in fact.

She bit the nurses, hit the nurses, threw her peas across the room..

 though I can't say I blame her for that, hospital food is so terrible;

 ^ whatever THAT is, is what they gave me to eat. HA. right.

and decided that underwear was not needed, exposing her old lady parts to everyone.

Basically she made the stay far more interesting. ^.~

I'm now on two more medications (making it 10 a day now)

and these are serious business;

basically, for epilepsy, seizures,
& that super important nerve that runs down the center of us.

I'm not getting my hopes up like I usually do with new meds and ideas,

just taking it hour by hour, doing what I can to survive.

The good, the bad, the medical.

The results of both brain scans came back totally fine.

Which, is of course fabulous news,

but also upsetting because we still don't know the source of my illness.

Oh, it's so frustrating! 

Some say "This may leave as quickly as it came on"..

but when!? I don't want to fight my own body for the rest of my life,

and as time goes on, I start to really wonder if that's going to be the case.

I worry my already fragile, underweight body 

will be effected in a negative way by all the heavy duty pain meds;

and I want to get off of them as soon as possible. \:

I want to work! I want to shoot everyday, 

and take care of my family, instead of them having to take care of me.

And the search/doctor visits continue..

I see my Gastro doc Thurs,

get my 5th Lupron shot again in a week,

am seeing a NEW primary care doc in about 3 weeks,

which plans on going over the current plans and medications;

hopefullyyyy his fresh eyes will help a bit..

and then in December, I see the neurologist for the third time,

hopefully getting more ideas from him,
and feeling better from 6 months of the Lupron in my system.

I may possibly be having another surgery to check for endometriosis, we'll see..

*falls over*

I should just have my own room at the hospital at this point! 

hahah, Goodness gracious.

From this, I'd like to become a patient care advisor,

I'm determined to never let any other ill patient go through all the trouble/traumas I have.

Neurologist; Long story, Short.

Full version; on tumblr<3

Went to the Neurologist Friday with my Mother 

to get a fresh view and maybe even diagnosis on my mystery illness.

He was fabulous. He did all these crazy balance tests

I can't balance and or hop on my left foot.(?!)

and after almost two hours of filling this poor man's head 

with all these hospital visits, symptoms, medications..

he said he'd have to do some thinking, and we'd have to do some testing, but this may in fact be an extremely extremely rare form of seizure. There’s a possibility my brain is actually coming through the hole in my skull and placing pressure on my spine/nerves which in turn can trigger these seizures which appear as random vomiting/pain attacks.

YIKES!!!

Matched with symptoms and years of random bouts of illness it makes sense,

but the idea of that really being the cause of my problems, scares me to pieces. ]:

Waiting for the results will be intense. 

For now, I just keep feeling the back of my head as if I have to keep my brains in. X:

Hah. Ridiculous.

The road to health.. Cont.

Realizing the Lupron is helping, but not quite enough,

I'm going on a second medication to build up protection.

Taken with the other medication,

I should start to slowly get even better this next month!

&, with other treatments, should finally be able to live a better life again!<3

It's so exciting..

3 long years of waiting to be diagnosed,

a 6 month wait to heal doesn't seem so bad at all. :]

I'll be happy the day I don't have to take another medication to get through the day.

at least for now, I'm getting through. ^.^

<3

THE ROAD TO HEALTH! Shot #2!

It came totally unexpected..

but as a beauuuuutiful gift.

(and/or slap in the face. :p)

Even though I wasn't actually due again til later next week

my body was giving me all the signs of danger.

Five different days this past week I've had horrendous sick spells,

ruining my weight-gain, and sending me back down to a mean 100 pounds. :[

Four of the spells were killer, but I made it through! 

& even made an appointment for Lupron shot #2 on Friday morning. :]

What do ya know, 

my body attacks so badly I haaaaave to go to the ER  

the very morning I'm due for my shot! (Fri, 20th)

WAHHHHHH!!!!! :[ :[

Thankfully my Patient Care Advisor is the best lady ever and got me connections

so I was IMMEDIATELY taken into a room, seen, and given meds. :]

(I can't tell you how many times before I'd be ignored to wait for HOURS on end)

Only at the ER for a few hours, and feeling much better

I immediately went to the Doctor and got the shot. :]

The difference when I'm on it, is just toooo amazing.

It's only been about 30 hours since the second injection

and the way it helps with eating, digesting, sleeping, and focus..

is already kicking back in!!!

So, this is it.

we finally know.

& a treatment's finally working!!

Now, it's just a matter of 6months more treatment of this shot,

another surgery to take out any scar tissues,etc left over..

& meeting a nutritionist to get back on a normal diet. :p

What an amazing thought, and feeling.

For so long I felt like it was never going to happen..just out of my reach..

but now I finally feel like I'll be able to LIVE again.

Incredible.

I'm the happiest girl in the universe! :DDD

Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges!! :D

Since my last health update on July 14th everything finally sorted out :}

Butttt..I had the worst episode yet Monday, July 26th;

I was tough, stuck it out,& instead of going to the ER..

when I could Tuesday morning, I called my doctor & 

that very day, I finally received the Lupron shot!

Since I'm so tiny and have no fat, the only place she could do it was my bum!

I have neverrr had to get a shot there before,  I was such a baby! hah :x

 [Band-aid is practically as big as my butt cheek!!hahah]

Now, this shot wasn't at all an easy decision.

In fact, I put off the idea of getting it for a year and half, since it's so serious,

and tried literally ALL other roads I could before having to say yes.

It basically stops all hormones, putting your body into a temporary menopause..

hot flashes and everything.

But I LITERALLY had ALLL side effects before taking it anyways,

(and haven't noticed a difference/bad side effect since..)

plus the Pros FAR outweighed CONS..so..no turning back now!

It's been almost three weeks, and changes are small but noticeable. ^.^

I find my whole abdomen to be in less pain..it's now in one concentrated area.

It's also easier to eat..I don't have to take as many meds to be comfortable..

& I'm noticing less memory loss/better comprehension!!

They say full results in 4-6 weeks;

I'm looking forward to see what's to come..

I have a goood feeling this is the first step to my full recovery!!!

*dance*

Doctor drama. I'm so over it.

After that rather frustrating, upsetting

not to mention TRAUMATIZING appointment..

my family met with the head of the hospital, 

the head of the ER, and head of Patient Relations..

since they realize how terribly I've been treated 

and are FINALLY taking measures to correct numerous issues.

The lovely girl who is head of P.R. actually got the  health ball rolling 

&now whenever I go to ANY place in the hospital,
I'm treated like a QUEEN!!!

It's awesome. Though, NEVER what I needed.

I just want to be seen, given some answers, and a treatment.

At least now, we're on the way! ^.^

Unfortunately though, my insurance is a big bitch. (to put it nicely)

They LOVE holding up serious medications I NEED. :|

 (since May, pretty much every time I've had to get meds, there's a problem.)

It just seems like there's always a huge bump in the road,

old witches with bad attitudes towards young women like me,

doctors that are clearly just pretending they know what they're doing,

and staff that would rather PUT THE PHONE DOWN ON THEIR LAP,

than listen to patient's concerns (about really serious issues)

IS THERE A CAMERA ON MEEE?

IS THIS HIDDEN VIDEOO?!!!

Alas, all I can really do is stay positive, 
have a good giggle over it..

and realize it'll all be better soon.

but I won't play hero,
it's really draining all the energy I have left..

especially since I have to FIGHT with these people to help me!

it's so so much easier when you have a support system..

& I cannot thank those that ARE supportive of me, my illness, my work, my life..

enough.

YOU are my true life savers!

<3

I'm a doormat for Doctors.

...or at least it seems that way.

With 90% of people there to 'treat' or 'help' me, not doing either.

I went into my appointment today PUMPED!

I was elated thinking I'd FINALLYYYY be seeing Dr. B

and have a serious, LONG OVERDUE conversation about treatment.

Well, he wasn't there of course. He never is.

He's always off delivering babies, or talking to some knocked up potato-sack.

So, of courrseeee I had to see The Wicked Witch from the West.

I've seen her before, and she's usually grumpy 

but today, the baseball bat was exceptionally far up her behind so

the SECOND she opened the door, she was miserable, defenses, SKY HIGH.

& The VERY FIRST WORDS out of her wrinkled old mean mouth were:

"That's not MY problem"

while she refused to even help answer a single question I asked..

instead, she snapped back with 

"I'm not qualified for that" or "I don't know. I can't do anything for you"

:|

WTF? 

WHAT DO YOU KNOW? WHY AM I EVEN AT THIS APPOINTMENT?!?

She just belittled me the entire time..

(mean time, I'm CRYINGGG because I'm so tired of being sick...)

She even had the ovaries to say,

"To be honest, you're not doing enough to help yourself"

You.

ARE.

JOKING?
...right??

No.

Okay.

Burn in the firey depths of Satan's living room.

This is just problem 38759375, and another stress.

ALMOST had to go to the ER this afternoon, because I was so upset I threw up!

&Here, I was thinking today would be a change.

HARDY HARRR. I'M SO FUNNY.

I should know better by know, but my positive outlook blinds the reality..

 *sigh*